Hello Graceful ones!Have you been waiting for me?Oh yeah!Its two days to valentine’s day and one can almost “smell”and feel Love!Everywhere seems to have this feel of love hmmmm,smh for peeps who have a wrong mentality about the celebration of valentine’s day and intend to mess up all in the name of celebrating love which they probably know nothing about,be wise ooo….story for another day,I guess that category of people aren’t on the blog today sef,Lol.
I’m very excited about this post cos I have a super sweet couple on the blog today.I’m sure you’re gonna have a swell time reading my interview with them.
Okay,just a little intro and we will get to the interview proper,I’ve known the wife (Eziaha) for a while now,she used to attend the same church with me(Triumphant Assembly) during her undergraduate days at the University of Ibadan.Funny we never got to talk one on one(probably cos we attended different centres),but somehow somehow we “found” each other on the blog world…that’s definitely one of the wonderful things about blogging.
Eziaha has a Fabulous blog(the F.A.B sisters blog) which I follow: www.eziaha.com .Remember I asked for suggestions of couples that could be featured on the love series?So Kemi Aribisala suggested this couple(thanks dear)and here we are…Meet the Olojos.
So E’ is featuring on the G.I.R.L’s blog today. My marriage actually. Thanks Seun for having us. Now the funniest thing about this is that hubby and I are apart for now so I just forwarded him the mail to respond to while I answered mine apart from him. When he forwarded his response, I was WOWed cos our answers are so in sync. Ok I’ll get out of your way and have you enjoy this… Btw I am Eziaha (popularly known as E’) and my hubby is Bolaji. So, Mr. and Mrs. Olojo here…
The G.I.R.L’s blog: In summary,what has marriage meant to you since you got married?
It has been “Heaven on Earth”. Having someone you can absolutely trust and share the totality of your life with, only comes in a God-ordained marriage. Truly for me,it’s a bit indescribable. I just know I’m whole, happy, joyful and blessed. And most importantly, I have PERFECT peace about God’s choice for me; a choice I will take over and over and over again.
Hmmm. Marriage has really taught me that love is actually
selflessness. Putting the needs and demands of my hubby
before mine. Not done grudgingly but out of love. And when
you have two people looking out for each other in that
selfless manner, you would really enjoy the marriage of your
Marriage has also taught me that God’s Word Works
absolutely. Once we obey God and His commands as the bible
stipulates (both in and outside of marriage), we would
totally totally enjoy life and marriage by default.
The G.I.R,L’s blog: Do you feel a significant difference in your
relationship with your hubby between now that you’re married and when
you were courting?(Please mention how long the courtship
Mr Olojo: Significant difference? Hmmmmmm………..Not exactly. For me, I had a deep sense of commitment to her when we were courting. Of course, with marriage comes a deeper level of commitment. We were intimate friends in courtship; we are more intimate in marriage. (Maybe
because of the fact that we know we must work and because we now enjoy “our bodies”).
We are obviously more intimate. Also, marriage is making me know her more. She’s stepped up her level of sacrifice for me.
You truly don’t know “the things we do for love” until you are married
to the right person. Our sacrifice level towards each other has
increased. And I must admit,hers has skyrocketed cos she’s been flying and crossing many waters for my sake just to discharge her God assigned duties towards me and to perform her conjugal rights as well. Lol. She said she doesn’t like cooking, but I eat all sorts of creative dishes. Such that can’t compare with the lunch I eat at work despite the fact that the food is being made by highly qualified Europeans. My WIFE is an amazing cook and MY GOD has blessed her with much strength to cook. *amen*. And yes, we dated for about 5 years plus.
Of course… We courted for 5years and 5months (with a three day break or so loooool ) but still marriage throws up surprises ooo. Some pleasant,a few not too. And that’s usually the case except you were live-in lovers
before which we weren’t. Personally, I know tz COVENANT we are now in, no more boyfriend-girlfriend. Tz more serious now. My head cannot be ‘touching’ anyhow again. We have become ONE so we plan EVERYTHING together. I can’t make plans without both checking for his approval and being sure it would benefit him ultimately/not affect him. Also I know
I am called to HELP and SERVE him as a wife so my responsibilities and commitment to him has skyrocketed. My darling, marriage- I DO- is a DIFFERENT ball game ooo so that’s why you should be VERY SURE of what you are ‘I DOing’ before you DO.
The G.I.R.L’s blog:How does being married to someone from a different tribe feel?Would you advice anyone else to marry from a different tribe?
For me, this should not be an issue for discourse. Tribal differences and myths surrounding tribes are stories handed to us by our “fore fathers”. Marriage is not the outcome of a research by our fore fathers. It is neither a product of their “criticalthinking”. It is God ordained. The two Tribes God recognizes are (a) Those that belong to the Tribe of Jesus and (b) those that belong to the Tribe of the devil. So simply put, i didn’t marry from another tribe. For those that married from another tribe, trust me, their stories are not cool to hear. And God knows, I could have married from any tribe or any part of the world because in every tribe, there is someone that belongs to my TRIBE. So, marry form your TRIBE and not just from your tribe.
Truth is, aside the fact that I kneel down to greet his parents (who I don’t see often anyways), and the drama that ensued with my parents who weren’t thrilled at first about their babygirl following ‘ndi-yoruba’ , I don’t feel anything yoruba or anyhow. My hubby doesn’t carry tribe, tradition and culture on his head. As much as it would be a good thing for me to learn the language, he doesn’t harangue or force me to. Funny how others apart from us make the fact that I don’t understand Yoruba a biggie. Not him. I actually have absolutely no interest in the language (born and bred in Western Nigeria yet…). Aku m and I communicate in English (except we are just fooling around and I am speaking Igbo while he is going on in yoruba). When I am around his people, they ALL speak English. Even if they forget, he gently prods them back to the english lane :-) Would I advise? Hmm. I would advise everyone to marry within the family’. The family of God. All these divisions are man-made. Marry in the family, simple. Not to discount the fact that there may be challenges that may crop up as a result of tribe but two God-fearing people can manage it wella. The real challenge occurs when one marries outside the family. *shivers*
The G.I.R.L’s blog: Do you believe in the place of knowing “God’s will” when it comes to choosing a life partner?
As a man, the place of God’s will is PRIMARY in finding (and not
choosing) your life partner. God is the OEM of Marriage. It is only wise to find out from the Original Equipment Manufacturer before you neither buy nor use their product. Check their website at least and if you can place a call too, please do both. Study His word and Pray to God. You will find His will concerning your life partner.
4b. The peace of God you feel in your heart is the confirmation. That peace can’t be faked. You either have it or you don’t. My wife and I are so
different with massive potential areas of friction. Yet, I was too convinced in my heart because that peace is self-re-assuring.
Yes!!! Not just in choosing a life partner
but in your day today life. I believe in living my life by THE BOOK (Shoutout to blogger @Marriagebydbook) Now the life partner one is
MAJOR because if you choose outside of God, hmmm…*shivers again* The person you marry has the power to make your life beautiful or a living nightmare. Since it is for life, it just makes sense to be sure your choice is God’s will. So in making this choice, I knew I couldn’t do it without God…
4b: Hmmmmmmmm Ok, I have been in the faith since my teenage years. I’m actually a daughter of Pastor Bimbo so you can imagine that from such a young age, I had been exposed to godly relationship and marriage counsel. I had always been confessing a lot of positive stuff about my future husband and my Sugar daddy had given me expo about the guy I would marry. Real expo ooo. His family type,ministry,physical features,tribe,etc. All covered. It was positively shocking. I did well to write it down in this book I used to document my dealing with God. When I met Bolaji and our friendship was going to the next level, I checked the book… It was surreal. God really went into details. He was a (near)
perfect match. In addition to these, I had the three “P”s Pastor Bimbo used to recommend:- PEACE of mind (ah, it was too much peace abeg),PASTORAL consent(all my pastors loved and approved of him), and then PARENTAL consent (though that one came with its own drama but we thank God we got it finally). God had spoken and I was going to obey.
Now, I like to add that some people only remember God’s will when it comes to marriage and life partner. But no!!! That’s a mistake. Cultivate a relationship with God in all areas of your life. Let Him be your Lord/Boss not just your Saviour. Keep walking with Him. Get used to His voice and how He speaks to you so that when it comes to that all-important life partner decision, you can tell if this is God and what exactly He is saying. That was really my case and by heavens, I am eternally grateful for my all round love relationship with my Sugar daddybooooo.
The G.I.R.L’S blog: What is your “recipe” for a good marriage?
Great Communication. We aren’t there yet but we are building communication daily in our marriage. Look at yourselves and talk, talk, and talk about EVERYTHING. When you get there, both of you start to look alike physically. Hehehe. Who you look at is who you look like.
The Word!!! Simple. Obey the Word. Funny how I always heard
my dawleen Pastor Mildred Kingsley Okonkwo say it and I must
say that now I am married, it just comes together nicely.
Just do the Word. What does the Word say about marriage?
Find it and obey it.
You can’t use tradition, popular opinion, other people’s
experiences that don’t line up with the Word, wisdom of the
world and all that to run your marriage. I truly don’t care
for popular opinion about how marriages are breaking and so
on, I hold on to only what He has prescribed. Marriage is
instituted by God and can only be powered by God. And He has
given us a Manual thank God. As I submit to my husband and
he shows me love, babe, heaven on earth ooo. Now of course
both man and wife may not know what it really means to love
and submit so this is where great counselors and teachings
come in. Be sure to have loads and loads of wise counsel on
this journey. Operative word: WISE. We sure do… And then
of course, stay teachable and malleable
The G.I.R.L’s blog: what is your advice to the singles out there?
My advice is keep your life simple. KEEP SEX OUT OF IT. It complicates
things easily. Work on yourself and build your confidence. It has great reward just like the bible says. I believe one of its rewards is finding and attracting the right partner. You need to be whole to get into a relationship. You must be sound, ready and willing to make sacrifices. You must have a dream in life (applies to both gender). As a man, you must have left or be ready to leave your “father’s house”, physically, mentally and spiritually. And for all singles, you must have read 1Cor 13 at least twice. I think that’s the best scripture on Love. I read it over and over and over again. I still do in marriage. I hope you find the answers useful. And to you babes, you have taken 1 hour of my precious time
to answer these questions, you have my bank details right? I
will ping you when I get the alert. God bless you in
Hmmmm. God bless you for this question. I actually wanna do
a whole blog post on this, even though I don’t stop talking
relationship on my blog.
I was reading Leke Alder’s tweets on #Letr2Jack #Letr2Jill
series and I just realized that if single people search deep
enough (and tz not so hard btw) they would find bible-based
knowledge, wisdom and counsel that can help. Frankly, the
truth is there is a loada premium crap out there about
marriage. Some say tz a necessary evil, some say you will
fight, some say you never know what you are getting into,
some say there is no way you will enjoy it start to finish,
“there are no faithful men”, “all men cheat”, “the woman is
always shortchanged”, “the man would lord it over her” all
sorts. They make it look like separation or divorces are an
easy way out. And gosh, tz the normality of it all that
gnaws at my heart. Dear Single, (lady especially), marriage
is a BEAUTIFUL thing. God Himself instituted it and called
it GOOD. Anything short of this is from the devil. I’m sorry
but tz true. The devil is just trying to spoil it and make
failed marriages look normal but we won’t be ignorant of his
So if all you know about marriage is the negatives or even
the ‘manageables’ you need a BRAINWASH!!! A brainwash with
the water of the Word. You also need to surround yourself
with great examples and mentors (Shout out to our marriage
mentors Albert and Teju Oduwole AND Pastors Kingsley and
God just brought these gifts for us walahi). Buy sound tapes, read books, hang around healthy marriages, REFUSE vehemently (like a Lagos tout) all those rubbish stories. Take the effort to look for the good stories cos they abound but the negatives try to ‘out-shout’ it. There are a billion Christian marriage blogs today. I recommend http://www.marriagebydbook.com http://www.inthemidstofher.com http://www.naijahusband.com http://www.justusgirlsnaija.com and so on.
Make an effort. Make an investment. Tz well worth it.
If you are dating someone now who is NOT all that, let
Him/Her go. Trust God for a better godly partner. You too
prepare yourself before hand. Tell yourself you will marry
the best and enjoy God’s best in your marriage. You will be
over-the-moon, deliriously, unbelievably happy in your
marriage. Oh, need I mention pre-marital sex is a NO-NO!!!
Don’t worry darling, you will have loads and loads of sex,
great, healthy, spiritual, incredibly exciting sex in
marriage so exercise self control for now. If any one/guy is
pestering you for sex, let the dude walk please. But first
slap him on PK’s behalf and tell him that tz PK that slapped
him (Pastor K actually said that in a message. I almost died
Our courtship years were long and yes it worked for us. But
would I advice it? Errr, nope. I’ll just say we were LUCKY
and BLESSED. Long courtships can throw in all sorts of
temptations and wahala. I personally believe 2years is
ideal. To each his/her own though. But in those years,
please spend time being friends. Use your mouth to talk and
not to kiss. Courtship is a time for interview not intercourse. (Shout out to Pastor Bimbo) Get to know the person wella and please carry God along ooo. Don’t settle for less because of pressure. Trust me, the
REAL PRESSURE happens when you find yourself in a bad
marriage and those people who pressured you won’t be there
and they will even ‘gossip you’ when wahala starts. I am
sure you have heard stories of people who died from a bad
marriage or even ran mad. *shivers complete with goosebumps*
Biko, you deserve more and better.
Mehn, single people/ladies, so much I wanna say. This
interview no do but you can just subscribe to my blog
http://www.eziaha.com Follow me on Twitter @eziahaA and if you need
more counsel, holla firstname.lastname@example.org
Wow! I must say that we are honoured to have the Olojos with us on the G.I.R.L’s blog.Wise words from this couple and I think they are absolutely awesome!My prayer is that the Lord will continue to make your marriage a heaven on earth marriage.God bless you guys for your time and for sharing with us.
You can receive email alerts of subsequent blog posts by entering your email address bellow the follow box at the end of this page and in case you’re in Ibadan,find your way to TRIUMPHANT ASSEMBLY(HQ) on February 13th 2014 for a special valentine’s programme .Red carpet starts by 5pm and the programme starts by 6Pm.
See you soon dearies,
still your G.I.R.L